Saturday, 5 September 2015

Do You Ever Feel | Depressed

Hello World!

Okay, first thing's first, I'm so sorry I missed last week's upload. I literally have no idea where that week went. I was so busy, and had no time to sit down and write, and I'm really sorry for that, but I hope this week's Do You Ever Feel... will make it up to you, because I know you guys love this series.

This week's theme is, as you may have guessed from the title, all about Depression. This is a very heavy subject, I know, so next week I want to maybe get some happier feelings into this series, because life is about feeling down as well as up. Depression is a hard topic for me to talk about, because I have actually been through it. You may think, "Oh well, if you've been through it, you'll be able to describe and help people understand easily", well the answer to that is...no, I can't help you understand how it feels, but I can try my best to describe it.

I'm really nervous to post this. I'm not going to lie, this is so difficult to do. I'm sat in my bedroom right now, taking a deep breath... I feel scared for writing this, like as if I'm sharing a really personal feeling, but if this post is able to help anyone out there, then that'll take away that fear. If you're out there, suffering from depression, or what you think might be depression, please, just tell somebody. Please, it's the best thing you'll do, if you have a family and friends who support you, or go to a doctor. I promise, everything will be okay.I hope that for writing this, that I'll be able to get closure and move on from this part of my life. I cannot deny that it happened and I felt this way. I need to move on past this.

My experience with depression started in November 2013, or around about then. I won't go into the details about what caused me to develop depression, but I will try to explain the way I felt the best I can. I was alone. Nobody else, just me. Nobody cared about me (I'm excluding my family from this, but my social life was dead). To the few friends who know about my depression, I try to explain it like a cloud, or fog. Always there, and you can't escape. There were moments when the fog would be temporarily lifted, but it would always come back, worse than before. I wouldn't get out of bed, and I hated school, I would cry to my mum before going, and would cry to my grandmother when I came home. I tried to draw things, write poems, anything to get my mind out of the fog, but the fog would just influence anything I did.

I can't remember much from between November 2013 and around about February - April 2014, however I have vivid memories of a few things. The first is of me, and a few of my friends sitting on a bench in freezing cold, rainy England, eating lunch at school. It was one of those days, like in movies, where the weather matches your emotions. I'd been suffering for a few months and I had no personality, no smile, I'd constantly look sad and never make eye contact with anybody. Deep down I didn't know what was going on, I just went along with anything my mind would tell me because I didn't care anymore. I never talked. I was a shell of a person. 

The second memory I have is about going to the doctors.  I thought I might have had a thyroid disorder, but it turned out that the doctor was asking me whether I slept enough, how I was feeling and how I was enjoying school. He said he thought I had depression and was thinking about putting me on anti-depressants. I was hesitant to do this because he said it's not a good idea to put teenagers on those kinds of tablets because the brain is still growing and changing. I didn't end up being prescribed the tablets, because I had gotten over the worst and was beginning to recover.

The best memory I have from my depression period is making an Instagram account. This sounds really strange, but it was through Instagram that I've found so many amazing people that share the same interests as me. I even met my best friend Kay on there and I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. It was around February I made my account and honestly, things started to get better from then on. 

I started this post to help people get better if they had depression, but to be completely honest, everyone struggles through it differently. The most important piece of advice I can give anyone who thinks they have depression is to tell someone how you're feeling. Whether they are a parent, guardian, friend or teacher. Tell somebody. It's one of the best things I ever did. That, and going to the doctor. I know some people may find it really scary and daunting but it's their job to help you. They get paid to make sure you're okay. Tell them how you're feeling and they can arrange a therapy session or anti-depressants or another treatment plan tailored for your needs.


I hope this has been able to help anyone who's going through depression or has been through it. You'll come out the other side, just like I did, I promise. Everything will be okay. 

Hope you're having a great day wherever you are in the world

Lots of love,
Marshmallow Skye
xoxo

16 comments:

  1. Beautiful writing piece, and relatable. ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting that lovely comment. Your support and kindness means so much :)

      Lots of love,
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  2. I really hope you're better now, I know what you're/have going through Xx

    Daizy
    http://brightdreamerz.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting and for your concern. I am so much better now thank you, especially after starting the blog. There are tons of amazing comments that make me feel like I'm making an impact on people, and a positive on at that. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through or have gone through depression, it's horrible but you will come out the other side and hopefully be able to give advice to those who are currently going through it.

      Lots of love,
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  3. Thank you for writing this,it has helped me alot.I know what you have/are going through from personal experiences and from people very close to me that have suffered from depression and I completely agree that telling someone is the best thing to do,it took awhile for me to realise that I needed to tell somebody but I am so glad that I did because people actually want to help and support you,I don't think I would of got better as quick as I did if I didn't have my family and closest friends supporting me,it can be scary telling people but they will want to help and it is the best thing to do.Starting my blog has also helped me to get better from all of the amazing people I have met and the lovely comments I get.
    Sorry to ramble,I really hope that you are better now.
    Lots of love
    Chatter girl xoxo
    http://chattergirlsblog.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. Al lthis morning I've been feeling really anxious and even being tempted to delete this post, but the fact I've been able to help somebody, just makes me feel so good for not deleting it! That's how I felt. If you have good people in your life, they will want to do everything they can to help you get better. Starting my blog has been the best thing too, however I think I'm getting a bit distracted from my studies so as soon as I get a planner and get back into the rhythm of school I'll be back on track :)
      Thank you so much for your concern, it means so so much.

      Lots of love,
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  4. I hope you feel better now :) And you're very strong for getting out of depression by yourself without medication! And also for seeking help I know many people who can't find the strength to go see a doctor about mental health issues.
    Keep being strong! :)

    www.rosegoldheart.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey! Thanks so much for this lovely comment! It means so much and your concern is lovely, so thanks so much for that too :) Aww thank you! Yes, it's a very daunting thing to do, however it's probably the best thing I've ever done apart from telling people. We still have a long way to go to get over the stigma of mental health issues.
      Thank you so much for this wonderful comment, it makes me feel so much better for posting this

      Lots of love,
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  5. Thank you so much for writing this post, you're really brave for writing this post, I'm proud of you x Sharing your experiences is really beneficial for everyone who has been through the same. I am glad that you're feeling better and that you're using your experiences to help others! I really love this quote from the movie 'The Perks of being a Wallflower': ' We can't choose where we come from but we can choose where we go from there.' x

    113-things-to-say.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey, thank you so much for commenting, and for your concern, I appreciate it so much. Aww thank you so much, it took me a while to decide whether to post about my depression and whether or not to take it down but your comment, along with a few others has made me feel much better about posting it. That is an excellent quote, I'm going to save it and write it down so when I feel sad I can remember it. Thanks so much, it means a lot and I appreciate it

      Lots of love,
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  6. Thank you SO much for writing this post, you're so brave to be able to open up and share your experience with us all... I think I'm going through it too, alongside anxiety so it's hard for me to tell people. I tell my boyfriend everything, but I can't really open up to my parents as they don't seem to believe me. So now I have a fear of telling anyone, I'm too anxious to go to the doctors about it all, in fear they won't believe me. But I feel like I need answers. I'm gonna try though, I'm gonna try find the confidence to go talk to someone, because it's unhealthy. I'm making myself so poorly, I'm glad I am able to share this through the blogging platform, I'm glad all this exists, and that I can speak to people who have gone through similar things. You're so strong for overcoming the struggles in your life, so much love!! xxxxxx
    Becky Shannon xx - Life-by-Becky

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    1. Hey! Thanks so much for commenting and for your concern. I'm so happy that you liked this post as it took me a while to open up about my deepest feelings, especially on the internet. But the fact it's helped and is helping you to get better makes me feel so good that I'm making a positive impact, and the fact that I've been bale to help you to try and get the confidence to go to the doctors. That is such a brave step and I'm so proud of you :) blogging has helped me so much, it's a place where I can get all my emotions out and make so many amazing friends who care about my wellbeing - like you!!

      Lots of love
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  7. I need to save this and re-read when I'm sad

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    1. Aww, hope you're alright! If you need to talk, I'm here :)

      Lots of love,
      Marshmallow Skye
      xoxo

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  8. Thanks for the comment!

    Lots of love,
    Marshmallow Skye
    xoxo

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